Sunday, March 23, 2014

An Update of Sorts

I've thought a lot about how I would approach the blog with what happened.  I could ignore that it happened or I could go into gruesome details.  I couldn't decide so I decided against posting and I kept on trucking.  But my girl is turning 4 this week and I realized that I needed to post about it before I could truly talk about how amazing and lucky I feel.  A day after my last post, LO fell off the back of the couch and fractured her skull.  Skull fractures are somewhat common but what made it so hard was the fact that for a few hours, that felt like days, it was very bad.  They thought there was internal bleeding in her head and I couldn't react or cry and all I wanted to do was vomit.  I was sitting on the couch with her and she was climbing from the back of the couch into the pillows.  She wasn't standing on the edge or being crazy, it was just a horrid accident.  I have prided myself on not being a helicopter parent.  We used to let her jump on the bed in the middle or bounce around as long as she acted safe.

On a recent hike, we let her climb a fallen tree trunk and balance.  She is an anxious, careful kid so when she asks to do something, we know that she is feeling confident and safe.  I've had to become a very different, scared parent.  She is expected to make a full recovery if there isn't a second injury.  She has been amazing and she knows to ask what she can and can't do in a new situation.  But she is 3 and it is tough.  We went to our first birthday party today at a kid's gym.  It was hard.  I laid out the ground rules but throw in an evening party with lots of sugar and 30 kids and it was hard.  I had to be on her and she cried when I said zip lining was out of the question.  She is used to a different mom style and its a hard adjustment.

This recent article regarding giving our kids more freedom to make more physical mistakes makes me chuckle in a f**k you sort of way.  Its all such great theories in the abstract, but do you want to be the parent of the kid with burns all over their bodies.  I get the big picture but I am so sick of hearing the same crap.  We are the parents and our job is not fun and I seriously doubt that anyone wants to stand over their kid all the time.  Unfortunately, one small mistake is not worth being able to prove that you are hip and you let your kid set fires.  So, I am going to helicopter as I am not in the mood to go back to the PICU.

She is doing great physically and emotionally but it is a constant thing in our lives.  We do a lot of talking about what happened.  It was hard for her to understand at first why they had to to do so many tests, why there was an IV and why it hurt.  She likes hearing that other people have gone to the hospital and been ok.  I have a hard time talking about it so onto more sarcasm and debauchery.  But first a video if you are that sort of person.