Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Why This Feels Like The Movie

Remember when Tom Hanks can't get anyone to work on his house and it is all very big pile of crap everywhere?? We now have three people working on the house and not a crew and it is all making me feel very NERVOUS that we have to move in less than three weeks and we are lacking floors, paint, lighting and a bathroom.  I am ok with the lack of a kitchen but there is a huge hole in the kitchen "floor" so we are back to just dirt in there.  LO straight out refuses to go in the house and even the workers are beginning to feel my stress.  I know that we will not have a kitchen and possibly no bath when we move in and that is ALL FINE BUT get some FLOORS for the love of all that is holy.

In other news, LO has started telling me that I am Rapunzel and then starts combing my hair and singing, "Let Your Power Shine." I seem to be illiterate and missed a letter in the title.

Obvs a genius in this video when she READS.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Day 7

The initial "fun" of the renovation has worn off and now I just want it to be over.  HAHAHAHAHA It's not going to be OVER for a good long time.   We continue to have so many people in and out of the house.  In addition to the renovation, we had to have some asbestos removed from the attic today.  So ten guys doing construction and some guys in bunny suits.  Nothing like having to start paying in cash when you realize that your two year old has written on every blank check and you have failed to order more AGAIN.

I finally came to the point in construction when I had to call Dan the Money Man.  I love our money manager/financial planner/money therapist.  I found him by asking some rich people who managed their money and then guilted him into taking us peons on as clients.  DH and I would prefer that he received our paychecks, paid our bills and then sent us an allowance.  I hear that rockstars get that done for them.  He is the most frugal man on EARTH.  When I started LO's education fund when she was teeny, he told me that his daughter had started his granddaughter's fund when she found out she was pregnant.  He isn't patronizing but I don't like to call the guy EVER.  He communicates a plan, updates us and we talk/review once a year and that is the way we like it.  DH has never met the guy which shows you how involved he likes to keep the money end.

Dan actually encouraged me to be less scared of purchasing a home and pushed us into buying a house.  He didn't really mention renovations but I digress.  His son just purchased a house as well and also went through several crazy rounds and is now going through renovations.  Dan is helping his son drywall the place.  Of course.  We discussed a course of action for money and some other stuff and he signed off without giving me a brow beating so a win?? I will feel better when it is all over.  Thankfully, we have gotten to the point of there is literally nothing else that can be done inside the house with the exception of the bathroom.  The good part of having a pretty modest house is that we have remodeled everything and our materials costs are not astronomical.  I am not moving again EVER.  The best part of putting a stop on costs is that DH has decided that he is going to tackle the backyard by himself.  The contractor has taken out the cacti and some pavers so we definitely have a random feel right now.  I am going to be interested to see his gardening finesse.

Cards for Lazy People

I can barely keep this house stocked with yogurt much less make sure that I get birthday cards out on time.  Here is my deal, I will think I am super duper smart and buy a ton of cards at one time and then be unable to find them or they look jank because they were shoved in the junk drawer.  OR I will have a birthday card but with totally inappropriate messaging such as a naughty getting old joke card when I need a card for a five year old.  So let's just say for the sake of argument that I am going to pick up your specific birthday card at the store with a two year old.  Girlfriend will go straight to the cards that are in Spanish and insist on buying one or collect cards from all different sections and demand a pen.

So when Treat.com told me about their site, I was kind of impressed.  I may not get around the ol' world wide web as I thought this was a GENIUS invention.  I can go online while watching LO pour sand at the park and customize a card and someone else will send it through the POST OFFICE.  Don't even get me started on hunting for stamps or dropping off a letter.   You could personalize your holiday cards for each recipient.  This immediately brings nefarious thoughts into my little brain.  They are letting you try out a card for FREE on Monday, November 19 and Tuesday, November 20 by using the code TREATBLOGR.  Don't say I never gave you anything.

This is a sponsored post but all of the awesome ideas and opinions are entirely from yours truly.  

Sunday, November 18, 2012


The house, the house, the house.  It is consuming my every second of every day except for those few minutes when LO's school went on LOCKDOWN because a crazy man with a gun was in the alley right by the school.   I need to lead a less distracted life as I walked far into the school before noticing the circle of parents holding their children in the corner while trying to stay calm.  The director tried to flag me down in my car before I walked into school.  I didn't notice the line of abandoned minivans in the middle of the street when I drove by or the abundance of police cars.  In my defense I had a really long day and no sleep the night before.  Hmmmmm whatever.   We joined the families in the corner and waited it out as walking back outside and fumbling with a car seat didn't seem like the safest choice.

Obviously, we are fine or you would have heard about it on the news.  I have never seen so many young children in a small confined area not say a peep.  One of LO's awesome teachers sat and read stories for two hours keeping everyone calm.  The real gain from the story was some damn PERSPECTIVE.  Some people don't like me and that is totally fine.  I have two parents that love me, they may be a tad wacky but they never act cruelly or have ever shown anything but support.  I have a great marriage that gets so much better every year, wonderful friends AND the best daughter ever.  She is a dream come true.  So while Thanksgiving is my least favorite time of the year, I am very thankful for all of the above and more.

Poppy came to visit this week and brought a Rapunzel dress for LO.  You don't need to watch the video but the dress is hilarious.

 Also, her singing the "I've Got a Dream," song in her pjs.
Lastly, the you play the guitar and I will play the piano.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Money Pit

The contractor has been really great with demolition as in OMG, we have gutted our house.  There is not a single room that is not being touched.  This project started as a few essentials fixes such as leaks, refinishing the floors and some new cabinets for the kitchen and HOLY HELL we have gutted the house.  Part of me wants to tell everyone to STOP and leave and let me curl up in a ball with my shell of a house as it IS ALL TOO MUCH.  I have NO JOB PEOPLE.  PLEASE STOP!!! I will mention something and five minutes later I will turn around and there is another GAPING HOLE in the house.  He is fabulous but quick with the sledgehammer.

Well there is one room that is not being touched and that is the main bathroom/guest bathroom.  The bathroom could look like we were trying to make it nice and took a wrong turn somewhere with stained nasty ass seashell pink cabinets and horrible tile and flooring options.  What does one do? I was trying to come up with a low cost solution but it turns out I need a NO COST solution so one of my fab friends suggested we just go the opposite and decorate it terrible.  So it would be better if the bathroom was 50's or 70s but it is terrible 80s bathroom with brass/shiny silver.  How do you go 80s crazy?! A few Nagels floating in the bathroom? Your MC Hammer pants drying in the shower? A puffy toilet?

I am so grateful that we finally have a house but 12 hours into the project and I was already holding myself and rocking back and forth.  We move in whether the project is done or not on December 16.  I should keep a packed box tally.  ZERO.

Monday, November 12, 2012


A lot of times I get angry with DH for running late but I tend to run late as well.  I am infuriated when I manage to be on time and he is late.  I was running late this morning to meet the contractor so I told him to go inside at 8:13 as we were meeting at 8:15 and I realized that I would be ten minutes late.  When we showed up at 8:28, there were two large holes in the house in the front and one large hole in the back that was unplanned.  For the love of all that is holy, it was crazy.   There were 20 men with sledgehammers ripping up the floors and tearing apart the kitchen.  That was all planned but so shocking and loud.   I had mentioned to DH that we should maybe mention something to the neighbors and he said that it wouldn't be loud as it was interior work.  WOW.  It was really loud and a ton of guys with masks on.  LO freaked out so I only managed a few pictures.  I am sure all of our new neighbors appreciated it on a freaking holiday Monday.  Sorry, dudes.

Late 80s fabulous

Oh hey, that is a big gaping hole to the backyard.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


LO loves school soooo much and I am in love with her school sooooo much that I would marry the school if possible.   The teachers are so amazing, the staff is fantastic and it is all just so unbelievably great. I have learned a TON as well and their philosophies make sense to me.  The ratio is three students to one teacher and some days 2:1.  Our area is overrun with different styles and I was really desperate to find a school that was developmental with rules and a little discipline.   I think kids should not be allowed to hit each other in the name of some jank ass credo.  Anyway, LO talks about her school friends and teachers pretty much non-stop.  I have also been leaving for longer periods of time so she has to be a titch more independent and stand up for herself.   The school has a rule that kids don't have to share if they are playing with a toy and want to play alone so they can say, "It's my turn."  This leads to way more voluntary sharing which seems so genius in hindsight instead of constantly telling a kid "to share."

LO started to get a little sad today and miss me so her teacher gave her a hug and she wanted to be held which is CRAY as LO never wants to be held.  So they took out the "good-bye story" which is some little dolls and toys and they act out saying goodbye to your mommy and then mommy comes back in the story.   So LO was acting out the good-bye story and another child wanted it.  The rest of this story is according to her.  I find it hard to believe as she tends to back away from conflict or when a kid gets too close but she said, "I told him to back away.  Then I told him to GO HOME (dramatic pause) AND EAT BREAKFAST WITH HIS MOMMY(dramatic pause) AND DADDY." I almost peed myself trying not to laugh.  If that isn't the most awesome made up burn story from a two year old, I don't know.  Also, the child's name is "Go," so it gets a bit confusing on if she means the kid or the action.  She has been really talking about people being mad lately and trying to understand the emotion.  So far, it has been limited to yelling at me that, "I am mad," with no real reason.

The other funny part was that when the teacher thanked her for letting her hug her and help her, LO told her, "I love my mommy." Just so there was no confusion.  After school, we headed to Pottery Barn  Kids so I could live out my dreams with a big girl bed and bedding for her.  She was not into it but she picked out her sheets and the bed is being delivered.  Yipppeeee.

She also teased me by trying on these awesome shoes but then refused to wear them.  I die.


Tuesday, November 6, 2012


IMHO, parenthood is all about scary ass realizations in between lots of love and some frustrations.  The moment when you hear the baby's heartbeat, IT'S ALIVE.  The moment when the baby is born, IT LIVES.  When you realize that your baby responds to you, IT UNDERSTANDS.  After your baby starts crawling, IT'S MOBILE.  And then when they start talking, IT COMMUNICATES AND WILL NOT STOP TALKING.  And the latest scary moment, IT ESCAPES.

LO has started escaping from her crib and I am sooooo sad especially when she wakes up at 5 am and helps herself to some cream cheese in the refrigerator. WHYYYYYYY??? GET BACK IN BED! After a few days of waking me up and me telling her to go back to bed, she has decided to stealth roam the house.  I don't want to scream get back in your cage crib but get back in your damn bed.  The real problem is that she usually wakes up early and will go back to sleep until a normal hour as she knows that I am not getting her out of her crib until a decent hour.  NOW she gets out of bed and falls apart most of the day.  Forget naps as she just played in her crib and eventually fell asleep but mostly just played for a bit.  Now she hops out and checks to see what I am doing.

I think that she would get really mad about a crib tent and I have picked out the CUTEST bed evah but how do I stop the roaming around for the love of all that is holy.  Also, my comments are NOT working! WHY??? Anyone with an ounce of knowledge is appreciated.  DM me on Twitter or email me through the Blathering stuff.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Monkey Fools

I am laughing at my October 17 self when I said that the house was a go after one more inspection.  HAHAHAHA self! Fool, you don't even know how drama it will get.  The house is a real GO now and we are negotiating to stay in our current home as LONG as possible.  We seem to live in some alternate reality as we might have to move in two weeks and not a single box or tape roll has been purchased.  We have been caught up in the drama of the new house and kind of ignored our current house which we need to vacate.  I envision us casually hanging out when the new owner comes walking through the door with all of his stuff.

The usual stuff has been happening as well.  LO goes to school three days a week for two hours and is loving it sooooooo much.  Separation took a long time but happened so naturally that it was all worth it.  I still stay with her until they go outside but I do leave for a bit and there is no clinging to me with a death grip.  She has a major crush on her teacher and talks about her all the damn time.

Halloween happened.  LO told me tonight that she was NOT dressing up next year and I believe her.   She didn't want to wear her costume and when I offered for her to wear her doctor coat even though we had family costumes, she was not into it.  She hasn't asked about her candy once and wasn't interested after a few raisins and M&Ms.  The kids could wear their costumes to school today and she looked at me like I was crazy when I told her that she could.

LO to DH, I will cut you if you put that hat on me again.
I am wearing this costume but you will pay in M&Ms later.
MOM, all my friends have cool Disney costumes
and you dressed me as a fake Curious George.  Get a clue.
LO has been really killing it with the phrases lately.  A few of my favorites that she has said to me:

"You have TWO choices, NOT go home OR NOT take a nap."

"You have GOT to be kidding me."

"I am MAD because you are NOT MAD."


"On second thought.........on second thought........." silence

"First, I am going to stick this in your mouth and then look in your ear."

"I changed my diaper, the poop is over there."

"I drew you a picture on my crib."

We celebrated Mama Cat's birthday tonight by LO yelling at her and eating some M&Ms.  I think she really appreciated all the effort.