Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Have IT All But Forsake Haircuts

Have you read the Anne-Marie Slaughter article?  I thought it was a really great article and rang true for me especially right now.  It is an overdone subject but she has a lot of valid points on the ability to control your schedule and types of jobs that are better for working moms.  The article gave me a sense of validation that it may be IMPOSSIBLE to be extremely effective in your career and be a mom.  That is why when I stumbled across Dana Shell Smith's rebuttal, I wanted to punch her in the face.  Ms. Smith feels mystified and was urged by leagues of thousands to respond that YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL but it takes hard work and ingenuity.  OH THAT IS WHAT I AM MISSING?!! Forehead slap to me.   Ms. Smith defines having it all as work and family, no time for haircuts.  Full Stop.  I am actually surprised that she found time to read the article given her clear cut priorities, hard work and ingenuity.

Ms. Smith feels that her family is proud of her and understands the sacrifice of mommy not being able to take the kids to the doctor.  We should all be proud of her as she does have an important career BUT that kid still has to go to the doctor.  We can all work hard and be creative and schedule the shite out of our lives BUT the kid STILL has to go to the doctor.   One of the parents STILL has to have flexibility in their careers and that usually means taking a less aggressive career path because the KID HAS TO GO TO THE DAMN DOCTOR.  Until children learn how to prioritize their sickness and bake sale needs around the work schedule, somebody has to have flexibility OR be the boss.   Over and over again, I see plenty of flexibility for the boss appointments, soccer games and vacation but the same is not offered to his assistant or even mid and senior level employees.    Hurray for all the people that work for Ms. Smith but that is not what the majority of the work force is experiencing.

A few weeks ago at my toddler group which is a precursor to pre-school in these parts, we had a discussion regarding our careers.  Two of the moms felt they have no other choice than to LEAVE their careers as corporate lawyers as there was no way to work and have children in jobs that demanded 24/7 attention.  I wont go into more details on the other moms but every single one had careers that required many years of education and a lot of work AND all of them admitted they had lied on more than one occasion to take their kids to the doctor AND felt blatant prejudice towards them for leaving or working  business hours to see their children.  Can we all just admit that kids and careers together or separate are hard especially for women? Then we can all have martinis and get haircuts and not feel guilty.  What did you think or either article or are you sick of the subject as well?