Monday, March 26, 2012


Do you remember your first love? The desperate, can't study, work or be apart? Everything that person does is awesome and incredible, practically GENIUS. I feel that way about LO.  I started parenting being very mindful of "helicopter parenting," and "overreacting." Now I find it practically impossible not to helicopter, I prefer showering with love and attention.  She is so sweet, calm, smart and AMAZING AND ADORABLE that I have given in.  I think it has gotten worse lately with DH being gone all the time and the realization that there will probably be no more babies.   I have come to realize that I can't take care of two by myself.   This has made me want to keep her as a baby for as long as possible.  Ummm, she has started calling herself, Mama's baby.  Yeah, it's probably not healthy.  There was some thunder last night and she insisted on sleeping in my bed as she was scared.   Sleeping in my bed involves sleeping cheek on cheek with intermittent paci chewing.

There is some freedom in not having another baby.  Private school-why not? Traveling-where do you want to go? Better retirement savings! Work part time when she hits school-YES! No more pregnancies--YES, YES, YES!  It's a win except there would be no more babies and the very real possibility that I might drown LO with love.  And little known fact, DH and I are not in our 20s.  You do a little math about paying for college while asking about senior citizen discounts.  All of this has been weighing on my mind so much lately.  How do I keep my one child from becoming Veruca Sweetheart and deal with not being able to spread my claustrophobic love to another being.  Any suggestions?

This may be weighing heavily on my brain as LO is turning two tomorrow around 1:30am.  I don't remember the exact time similar to how I don't remember my actual wedding date (the one in the US).  I can't be bothered with exacts when MY BABY is turning two.   I will try in my horrible writing to describe her in this exact place in time. 

LO has her daddy's face and laughter with her mommy's eyes, toes and old soul.  She is cautious until she trusts you and then wants to know every detail about you.  She is easy going until you hurt her feelings.  She will give you an extra long turn but loses interest if you demand too much.  She loves her friends, her family and her car seat.  She likes to ask if they are sleeping when she sleeps or if they like ice cream likes she does.  She loves looking at albums even if there are no pics of her, receiving mail and picking out her clothes and shoes.  She is just as happy at the park or at her table doing her "work" and longs to wear wear high heels and go to the "office." She is a great singer and is often moved to dance when she hears music that she likes.  She loves her school and after a few minutes,  jumps down from my arms and runs onto the playground with her arms wide open and laughs with excitement.  She is a Mama's girl even though I was so sure she would be a Daddy's girl.  She is beautiful and perfect and I will claw your eyes out if you disagree. 

A few pics of my love: