Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Tuff Stuff

Wow, stuff has been really tough around these parts as of late.  LO has had a lot of separation anxiety lately that has really killed me.  She had a bit of a cold last week and wanted me to hold her and I had to leave for work and when I had to pull my child off me and LEAVE HER, I nearly lost it.  It felt completely unnatural and against everything that I wanted at that moment.  I find it hard to remember the master plan at those moments and I cling desperately to thoughts of being with my child ALL the time.  I went out with a few stay at home moms on Saturday night and it comes down to the fact that to live in LA and buy a house here, we need two incomes.  My income does make a difference and contribute, DH makes way more money but my income is significant enough.

We have been looking at homes that would be a stretch for us to buy and would make me depressed to live in them.  Although, they are in great areas with great schools through high school, they need a lot of work.  I want to get to a place where I could work part time once LO goes to school as I want to pick her up from school and help her with her homework.   We have decided to look at better homes with great elementary schools and not worry right now about junior high and high school in our "B" locations.  Our marriage doesn't need the stress of the larger mortgage.  

This is also the part where I throw in a complaint an observation.  I was talking to my dad and giving him a hard time in a jovial manner.  My brother had called to tell me something that I didn't understand but I was too preoccupied to question at the time.  I thought he said that I was no longer the beneficiary on my dad's life insurance policy and while it makes no difference to me, I find it funny that my brother called FROM THE GOLF COURSE to break the news. 

The "Did you have your son call to tell me that I am no longer the beneficiary, hahahha, of all the things this one will definitely be mentioned in your eulogy," question was mentioned, he discussed some other decisions he had made.  He feels that his other children (healthy males) have more of a "need" than me.  I REPEAT, I am not someone that cares what other people want to do with their assets.  Money does and will divide people, it is everyone's personal decision.   But a small part of me was a little curious as to the why? Is it being female and I have a husband?  Is it my career? What makes me not needy? Is there a penalty for being self-sufficient? We recently did all of our estate planning, health directives and wills.  It is easy when you have one child.  How do you feel about dividing your assets? Equal parts for all or do you think one child will prove to be more needy? I am hoping to spend every single dime on pants that make me look thin and glycolic facials.  Sorry, LO.