Friday, March 16, 2012

Girl on Girl Crime with Fake Nails

Our photo shoot was thwarted by the stomach flu BUT the blue polka dot dress that I cut two inches off the bottom looks so awesome now.  It may be a titch too short for any bending over but she has bloomers and I love the look.  Keeping it slutty for the two year olds.  We are all set for next Friday.  As she was vomiting and yelling at us Wednesday night in SPANISH which was crazy, I was still holding out hope but after she vomited on me at 4 am, I knew our photo session was lost.  To keep her from walking around the house and vomiting at will, we let her watch Elmo on the iPad ALL DAY.  I can see the appeal of TV is all I am going to say on that subject--I get it. 

Back on subject--girl on girl crime.  So on Wednesday, I was skimming Facebook and came across the most controversial post ever to hit my FB stream from a regular non-celebrity person. I know this single friend with no kids who lives in Indy from my last job when I used to do events.  She has a really dry, funny sense of humor.  We used to spend 18 hours a day together for a week and then not see each other for eight months and then spend another crazy week together.  One time, we were having a musical guest perform who had a rider. A rider is a list of things that has to be done for the person to be able to perform at an event.  The rider is probably the most annoying and hilarious part of having anyone "famous" come to your event.  The bigger the star, the more expensive and outrageous the rider.  So we were having a musical act and the star had to have his clothes and underwear folded a certain way in his dressing room.  Um, there was no way on Earth, I was touching or folding underwear when I don't even fold mine.  So she volunteered for the job and took a picture to show everyone the fold.  It was hilarious and I still laugh thinking about the folded tighty whiteys.

So she posted, "I'm loving all the status updates today about the weather by those who stay at home! I will make sure to have an equally sickening post when I get my next paycheck." I can assume that winter in Indy sucks, it was a gorgeous day and it was Wednesday which can really suck when you are in an office.  Busy week and you feel rushed to get stuff done, slow week and it feels so far from the weekend.  One of her friends had made a funny response and I wrote a quick note and then didn't think much about it.  When I got back on FB later, my updates thing was on fire telling me about people commenting on that post. I have posted some of them below:

"No paycheck could keep me from enjoying days like this and enjoying my kids. It isn't worth it. The memories I have with my kids are priceless. You can say what you want and make fun of me all you want xxx for the decision that I as a mother made."

"Stay-at-home moms are given a lot of crap for an extremely tough decision (giving up that paycheck is seriously hard)."

"I know xxx was just being funny and I've always appreciated her sense of humor. Being a SAHM myself, I wanted xxx (who I don't know) to feel a little love, because it's super easy to be sensitive about this job because -- believe it or not -- people make fun of it. I've been asked how many soaps I've watched and bon-bons I've eaten in a day...and really, nothing makes you want to go postal more than that kind of comment, especially when you've been up to your elbows in poo and laundry and dishes and dust bunnies. And all because you want your kids to have the security and happiness of their home environment -- worth the sacrifice? Absolutely. But a little quick to be defensive? You bet. So...kumbayah, kids. It's all good."

My single, childless friend had ignited some sort of SAHM fury on FB with 45 comments.  45! I think the most I have ever had was 30 when LO was BORN! To me, it makes no difference if you stay home with your kids or work, we all make choices and in the end we all want, what is best for our children.  I felt myself get a little riled up by the "security and happiness of the home environment," and then I took a step back and saw a lot of women/moms that didn't feel appreciated.   At the base of most of their comments seemed to be the trend of too much work and not enough appreciation. 

So my question is why do women strike out at OTHER WOMEN when they feel under appreciated.   In my opinion, working women are not the reason stay at home women feel unappreciated.  Just like stay at home women are not the reason working moms feel the guilt.  Why are all women quick to get defensive at other women? Is this not similar to the crazy women on Jerry Springer who claw at each other over some lame guy who cheats on them.  Why are we mad at each other?  Clearly, there is an easy solution to this whole issue.  Let's turn against the men.  Why do we feel so righteous and angry at other women.  Over and over again, we hear that we have an unfair share of the responsibilities compared to our male counterparts.  Why strike out at someone else that feels the same way? I say stop the fisticuffs as you are going to get WAY more help from another woman when you are in a pinch.  I could say "than a man" but I am not a male basher as I feel like they have a lot of other pressure that we don't understand.  Baldness, sports ability, shoe size, drinking capacity  I don't really experience any sort of woman war over here in So CA or maybe I just don't engage in it.  What are your thoughts, do you participate in the war?  Do you have a war room in your basement? Can I see a picture?