Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Don't Cry for Me, Argentina

This new job is not all that bad.  I looked out my window and realized what I thought was haze is actually the OCEAN.  Nothing says you have made it then to be upgraded from a pet cemetary view (I shite you not) to a partial ocean view in an actual high rise.  Wow. I may have the shortest career in investment banking but I have an ocean view office, suckas!  I may be more upbeat as I received my first (possibly last) paycheck today, nothing calms my nerves like MONEY given to me by peeps that don't require a thank you note and hug.  I am also getting used to my suits as I feel they demand respect and I look a little scary in my non-smiling giving you the eye way.  I tend to stay more professional in them, I mean I ate three mini cupcakes today instead of one large cupcake.

LO seems to be adjusting well and may be milking it a bit. There is a recent raisin addiction that needs to be fed as well as BUBBles that need to be floating about. DH and I overdid the raisins yesterday much to the bewilderment of the new nanny. One more thing that no one tells you about kids. Beware of too many raisins.

Friday, May 27, 2011

They Love Me Here

Wow, I just have to tell you that my new job loves me.  They kiss the ground when I walk through the door and throw confetti in my wake.  Some of the awesome feedback verbatim as I begin my fifth day on the job.  I don't want you to be jealous as I am here 11 hours a day and then an additional 1-2 hours at night so it takes a lot of work to get this kind of response.

"Frankly, I am surprised that you couldn't add more insight" (to a 5 page article on mergers and acquisitions which I know nothing about)

"This is terrible." (to an eblast that was approved by four people)

"I think you need to read more," (to the 6 inch thick stack of industry news)

Now, I'm not saying that it is good genes or my mediocre education that got me here but I think it is my certain je ne sais quoi that I bring to the job.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Always Hustlin'

I am back in the grind and feeling a bit overwhelmed already.  This job definitely takes more brain power than my last one as I am learning the world of investment banking.  I used to be learning the world of home building and then I "got it" and my job required less brain power.  LO is adjusting ok in that she doesn't seem to be too emotionally scarred.  She did start crying last night and couldn't stop which was sad and made me cry and question why we do it.  Then DH went to a preschool tour this am where you drop you kid off for 3 hours a day and they charge you $11k. Oh yeah, that is why I'm hustling.

So what is the master plan? Just keep working until your child requires no more expensive items, like the end of college, and you are just a shriveled skeleton of your former self? It begs the question, how the hell do people with multiple kids do this grind? DH and I work A LOT, even out of the office and it never feels like we are ahead.  Erica just did a post about spending and saving and I am the saver in this relationship but I have been worn down.  I am no longer the brand new car with the fresh leather and paint smell.  My saving ability has been worn down to the tan 1985 Toyota Tercel with the replaced red door and the trunk held down by a bungee cord.  My plan at this point is to live in that Tercel when LO is done milking me dry of financial resources and no longer wants anything to do with me.  DH will have to make do with the front seat as he was the spender and the saver should always have the more comfortable back seat.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Mr. Bear

One of the last things that LO and I did before starting work was go see grandpa for lunch.  He kept mentioning that Costco was right by where we were eating, necessitating a trip to his fav place.  I was worried about him walking around such a big place but he was so excited to push the cart with LO in it.  He spied a gigantic sticker book that we picked up for LO and some pajamas.  Then he saw Mr. Bear and before I could say anything he was wrestling this 53" monstrosity into the cart which LO refused to ride in because Mr. Bear is so huge.

I was hoping that Mr. Bear could live at grandpa's house but no dice so he is hanging in our living room.
I am leaving the tags on him so you may see him as a "gift" at your house.

I started work today and it was not that bad.  I had a breakdown last night and may have cried and accused DH of a few things but all was forgiven in the am and I was off to work.  I woke up LO as I didn't want her to be sad when she woke up and I was gone.  Everyone was very nice and I snapped a quick pic of the smoggy LA view from my office.  It was really strange to jump in the car and be home in five minutes.  There are no real "set" hours to work which is also a little crazy as I am used to a job where you had to be in your seat during certain hours.   They just want you to get your work done which is awesome and I appreciate that mentality. 

Everyone wears a suit but they don't wear their jackets all day except for external meetings so I am thinking that I can wear some collared shirts and just pretend that my jacket is in my office.  Wish me luck on my second day!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Q & Answers

SHE Says asked a question, ya know like you are supposed to do.  It warmed my cold, little heart.  She has FOUR kids so everyone else including myself needs to stop complaining.

"What is one thing you swore you'd never do as a parent that has already made a liar out of you?"
Let me make a list:
  • Get rid of the paci by 6 months
  • Be firm and not pretend that I don't see when my child is misbehaving
  • Daycare, partially unavoidable that we had a nanny as the daycare wouldn't medicate LO, but I could be a little more aggressive on looking for one now
  • Technology, ya know the devil's work, I let her listen to music and play with my phone
  • And about a zillion other things that make me cringe and look for research studies that favor nature over nurture so I am not held accountable for all of the therapy.
LO has started whining and it is torturous to the ears.  I have seen dogs cringe in horror at the sound.  I am thinking of recording it and sending it to the military for torture.  She is having A LOT of separation issues right now and I am treated to the whine every time I am not within grabbing distance.  How long will this continue???

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Giggles & Hugs = The Devil

LA Mom and I braved this place today.  The website looks good, Nickelodeon rated their pizza as number one and the last four digits of their phone number spells HUGS.  When you are feeling guilty for the impending sadness of going back to work, you get excited about sharing fun kid stuff with your children.

We decided to go at 2 pm on a Thursday, how bad could it be? I remember Chuck E. Cheese and the loudness and the screaming, it was awesome as a kid.  I remember swearing that I would never bring a child there as an adult so Giggles & Hugs seemed like an awesome adult friendly kid place.  It is the modern day Chuck E. Cheese.   There is kid music blaring, children screaming, lots of running and general can't find anyone that works there madness.  I saw a kid shaking his head to try to make his eyeballs shake and then he ran away with his mouth open.  There also seemed to be an abundance of children with parents hiding in the bathroom as you would look to see who was watching the hellion and they would bat tauntingly at you.

The food was decent, a bit overpriced but not horrible.  They don't serve alcohol, I hate pointing it out but it would have really helped with the screaming.  We stayed for two hours which was about as much no sunlight and screaming that I could take.  There were TVs everywhere as well as three video game stations which irked my no technology for children self.   I know that I will be going back to that madhouse one day but not for awhile.   The kicker was that LO seemed a bit take it or leave it.  She spent the entire time climbing the stairs in the castle and looking at the slide.  She also chilled in a chair for a bit.  LA Mom's little one had a fab time running and playing.  It would have been unbearable to go alone or with someone that enjoyed the soundtrack to Lilo & Stitch.

Q&A Treat

A few peeps have been doing Q & As on their blogs and I really liked the idea but I was worried that no one would ask me any questions.  In an effort to not put myself out there, but still participate, I have developed my own questions and answers.  Feel free to ask anything that I don't cover.

Q. What does your car smell like?
A. Vomit, a combination of spoiled milk and formula that has reached into the crevices that makes me throw up a little in my mouth when I get in the car.

Q.  What surprised you the most about having a baby?
A. The amount of earwax produced by newborns and infants.

Q. What question irritated you the most during job interviews?
A. Where do you see yourself in five years.  That is the most generic, stoopid question.  I have no clue what I will be doing in five years but hopefully it will NOT be working for the douche that asks.

Q. What sweets are you digging on right now?
A. The chocolate chip cookies from this place.

Q. What did you hope to accomplish in the four months off from work that you failed to do?
A.  See a movie.

Q. Helpful mom tip this week?
A. Put a night diaper on your kid for plane rides so you don't have to change them.  I never thought of that.

Q. Weirdest thing that DH did in the last week?
A. Cut the straps off the high chair, necessitating the purchase of a new one.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Beetchy & Her Monster

I am on a short fuse lately, on the verge of an eruption of mass destruction.  I am getting really resentful that I have to go back to work.  You are asking yourself, why I complained for the last four months about my lack of employment, and I am telling ya that I should have enjoyed it a teeny bit more.  My present weight would show that I enjoyed it a bit too much.  I feel sensitive and stressed and sad and frantic.  Our offer to the nanny was turned down which is probably a good thing as she didn't seem that committed.  We met someone else this weekend so we are checking references and I am supposed to be writing a formal job description.

I am constantly amazed by Southern CA and the over the top way that people live.  The nanny wanted to know if she would need to travel with us at Christmas as she wanted to be able to spend it with her husband.  Huh?  I want to spend time with LO and I made a big deal at the new job that I put my daughter to bed at night.  She seemed surprised as she had a job as a Saturday nanny as well.  DH suggested that the people were Realtors, I suggested that was probably not the case.  Most of the nannies are used to working 16 hour days, holidays and weekends.  Maybe that is why they are rich and I am not?  I try not to be judgy as everyone has their own situations but that is hard to understand.

LO, DH and I went to visit the neighbors new kittens this weekend and I think our neighbors were a bit scared of LO.  She is still in the stomping walking phase and when she gets excited, she tends to babble loudly.  So when she came to visit the "kides" she seemed like a crazy monster with flailing arms and spit flying while yelling "kides" at the poor little things.  LO is never the bigger kid so it was a little hilarious to watch her.

She is also getting wayyyy better with food and swallowing so I am starting to relax a bit.  I need stuff to feed her, any ideas?  She likes black beans, chicken, french fries and eggs which she can swallow.  She loves cucumbers, apples, carrots, puffs, blueberries, bread and mangoes but has a hard time swallowing them.  Any suggestions in the softer foods?

Thursday, May 12, 2011


1.  I got a facial last week at the dermatologist and they stuck a needle in my face without asking me.  She saw something on my face that needed to be taken off so they just did it without asking.  I was partly appalled and partly ok with it.  They also put glycolic acid on my face and it feels awesome afterwards.  It took a layer of dead skin off and my makeup just slid off my face when I tried to put it on later.   The dermatologist is way cheaper than a spa and much more effective.

2. LO had her milk challenge yesterday and everything went pretty smoothly with the exception of a gigantic booger flying out of her nose when the doctor was examining her.  I was slightly impressed and totally grossed out by the size. I am going to slowly introduce dairy into her diet.

3.  We were in the elevator at the hospital yesterday and a guy leans over and calls LO "little fella" and told her that "he was going to woo all the girls."  I just went with it.

4.  I think we have found a nanny for LO as DH loved her and was ready to hire her on the spot.  She has a masters in family counseling which might be helpful in the future.  I found a ton of really great people but LO went right up to this girl and wanted to draw with her.

5.  LO is now walking more than she is crawling and seems to prefer to walk.  She is still a bit unsteady but definitely a "walker."  She took a few steps two weeks before her first birthday and has been taking her time to get comfortable.

6. We have someone coming to our house for occupational therapy next week to observe LO's eating.

7. LO is starting to say duck, kitty and puppy.

8.  I got a haircut yesterday to avoid the trashy, shaggy look and I really like it.

9.  I got six chocolate chip cookies from a bakery yesterday and ate them all.  Delicious!

10.  We were watching Weeds on DVD last night and there was a phone message that Mary Louise Parker leaves for someone about being a Mama Bear and that no one is as strong or protective of her cubs, not even Papa Bears, I could totally relate.  That show rocks the body that rocks the party.


1.  I have to leave LO very soon to return to work and I cry every night about it.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Right Now

I am currently sitting amongst 625 Q-tips scattered all over the floor and next to a heap of clothes.  Today was day one of the countdown to full time employment. On the list for the day, clean out the closet to find suit type clothes and go to Target and Babies R Us to stock up for nuclear winter.   I had the same approach right before LO was born that I would buy enough of EVERYTHING so I didn't feel panicked about running out of toilet paper.  LO was pretty awesome today so I decided to attempt to clean out my closet while she was awake hence the 625 Q-tips all over this joint.  She wore out before I could finish and now I lack the motivation to get the job done.  As soon as DH walks into this place he is going to start hugging and rocking himself.

I believe there is only one way to clean out a closet and that is everything comes out and you need to be in your underwear as a lot of stuff needs to be tried on for wearability and size.  I do it twice a year and I love the results just not the process of doing it.  I am a bit freaked out to wear a suit every day but trying to cope with it.  I don't wear nylons so I will rock the pant suit every SINGLE day.  The whole new boss and new office is going to be weird.  I am going to have to think about a new nickname for old Bossman.  There are only two other women at the new company.   I feel like the new kid at school wondering who will eat lunch with me.  Maybe no one and that might be the best scenario.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Great Expectations

I am going to let you in on a little secret.  You can't win with me.  I want something fabulous for my anniversary and mother's day but I will be upset if you spent too much.  I want you to give me exactly what I want but my mind changes a lot.  I want sentiment and heart but I will wonder what to do with cutesy crap. 

DH bought me a wonderful bracelet that was beautiful for our anniversary but I was uncomfortable with the store that it was bought from as I feel like they are over-priced.  I also didn't find it very comfortable to wear.  Instead of shrieking with joy and excitement, I acted less than thrilled and I am ashamed of myself.  I find it hard to receive gifts.  I have received so many crappy useless gifts in my life that I have taught myself to show no emotion when receiving something even if I love it! I am a mixed bag of weird and bizarre habits. 

I have also been acting a bit strange as I got a job!! Yeah!! Leaving LO, sad day.  I am really going to miss her during the day.  I am also in need of a nanny as Poppins decided that she didn't want to nanny full time anymore so I am a bit stressed about child care at the moment.  I start a week from Thursday so I am cramming in a bunch of appointments so my new employer doesn't see my crazy appointment schedule right away. I have also been buying suits as they wear them EVERY day even FRIDAYS! Ahhhhhhhhhh Wish me luck as I am more of a dress down type o' gal. 

Friday, May 6, 2011

Cinco de Drinko

Also, a good day to show off your wedding dress and veil commemorate your love on your anniversary. Four years ago, we were married overlooking the caldera in Santorini.  I never thought about the possibility of having to get a babysitter on cinco de mayo so we are celebrating tonight.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Not Winning

Can we be honest with each other right now? I am letting you down as a blogger, I don't write and when I do, it is not that interesting.  You feel the big bait and switch going on right now.  We had our first meeting, dating and now the honeymoon period is over.  You are wondering if I have said all that I can say and you are wondering if you should move on to the live feed of the eagle with its new babies.  Before you move on, I thought that we should take a test to see if we should even continue this relationship at all.

How to Not Be Winning.

1.  Do you eat garlic pizza moments before a big interview?
2. Do you forget interviews and then announce that you are not qualified for the job because they are boring you, after that person has hunted you down on the phone?
3. Do you turn around and notice that your toddler is playing in puke and rubbing it on herself?
4. Do you turn around and notice that your toddler is playing in pee and rubbing it on herself?
5. Do you stare off into space in the third hour of interviews as you are worn out from talking about yourself and you just want the questions to stop.
6. Are you judgy about people based on their demeanor/appearance when first meeting them?
7. Do you refuse to cut your mangy hair even though your husband woke up this am and told you to cut it?
8. Do you buy the wrong size of pants for a suit because you refuse to have a two size difference on the jacket and pant?
9. Do you buy pink pianos on a whim?
10. Do you have a list of "To Dos" a mile long that never gets shorter?
11. Do you roll five people deep that need to be called back?
12. Do you secretly want to name your next child Pippa and think that she looked a smidge prettier?
13. Do you give your child squeezable applesauce in the car and hope for the best?
14. Do you secretly believe that the weight will just come off when it feels like it?
15. Do you pretend to know things and then look them up on wikipedia in the bathroom?

If you answered Yes to everything then we are twins and should combine forces to populate the world with like minded people.

If you answered No to everything then you have probably left already. Sad day.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The Haps

I have started four different posts and failed to finish and post them so I am going to bullet out some happenings in order for me not to feel like a blogging failure.

LO is growing so fast that I am speechless. She has been walking up and down the street with her shopping cart and it has really helped her with walking.  I see her confidence building after we go for our shopping cart walks.

Melissa & Doug Shopping CartShe spotted this shopping cart and DH immediately wanted to buy it for her but I think one shopping cart is sufficient.  I wish that I had sprung for the Melissa & Doug one as it is really nice but we have a pink piano and that is the end of the story.

She is also saying a few words such as her name, Mama, Dada, This, No and Duck.  She is very fond of No and This.

She is up to five loveys in bed these days with two pacis, one blanket and a doll.  Also as soon as she is done with her bottle at night, she will give no hugs or no reading of "Goodnight Moon," or no holding for a minute for me to cuddle her and smell her yumminess, she reaches for bed and wiggles out of my grasp and wants into the crib.  I should be overjoyed as this was my big sleep plan and craziness at scheduling a two week old but a little part of me is sad.

The sadness might be that I have two pretty good job opportunities going on right now and I see myself going back to work for the first time since I was laid off.  Now every second is precious with her and I find myself sad to think about leaving her again all day.  I look forward to a new challenge and going to the bathroom by myself but I will miss her desperately.  I feel like it will be the whole going back to work after maternity leave depression again.

Grandpa moved down to Southern CA today to live in a senior living facility.  It is weird to imagine that he lived in the same town for over 60 years and now he is living in a place with older folks.  He is trying it out to see if he likes the place over the next three months.

We start food therapy on Thursday which seems somewhat comical but I am hoping to learn some tips as I see her getting increasingly frustrated with the whole food not going down her throat but popping out her mouth.

Those are the haps!