I feel this blog has been lacking humanly fluids lately. I bought a new car and was greeted with a pleasant new car smell void of vomit and general stickiness. It felt heavenly and clean and generally nice, like there was a bit of structure in my life for TEN days. THEN LO vomited all over the car in her brand new car seat and my BRAND new car. I just kept driving as I caught a glimpse of vomit on her face. She gave me fair warning by pointing to her mouth and doing a little whine and then it all came out and she was much happier. I think the poor kid gets carsick so I have decided that I am going to face her forward, she made it to 18 months and I just can't deal with much more vomit. It also made me question why I bought a new car when I know that it will end up with VOMIT all over it.
Somehow this trail of thinking also makes me question my very existence of working when I could just stay home with LO and contain the vomit to the couch and carpets. Then I could clean up cat vomit and LO vomit all at the same time. I have spent endless hours trying to decide how LO should spend her day, more "school" less nanny? But how much less and would the nanny want less hours? Is this the right choice for LO? Am I too motivated by the chance of saving a small-medium amount of money for childcare. Leaving me feeling very hands wringing, "WHAT IS TO BECOME OF US?"
Anyway, can you tell that I am LIMPING towards the weekend like a dog with three legs. I am also feeling very anxious that there is only one weekend with nothing planned from now until the new year. I have general scratchy, hair pulling jitters, not comfortable in my own skin.
Ok, I am just going to level with you, I am anxious to go to the Blathering. I am anxious to take a day off work that I am not spending with LO and then be away from her for three whole days. I KNOW that I sound lame but she is little and I don't see her that much. Also, I don't make the best first impressions on people and I have been called strange and intense in the last week fueling my feeling that the Blathering my not be for my certain kind of crazy. I don't want you to think that I am insecure and need reassuring, because no one loves me more than me, but I can't help wonder if I will blurt out something completely inappropriate and only hilarious in my MIND. I mean I don't know what this accent recording thing is or some sort of cuddle card that people are bringing or other people bringing presents? What, do they want to CUDDLE? Do I need to bring a neck hanger that says "DO NOT OFFER HUGS OR DRUGS"? I can only focus on a few things like a decent bottle of sauvignon blanc between the airport and hotel and that the hotel doesn't offer those horrible dark striped bed covers.
On the other hand, I could practice hugging this weekend and make cookies for the trip that I would mean to share but probably just annihilate on the plane and with my wine. Lay it on me, what are you bringing to Texas? Also, what are your thoughts on Texas as a state in general apart from the Blathering.
3 years ago