Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Baby in the Mail

You may recall from last year, at this time, that I started FREAKING out about the holidays. Holiday gifting gives me the agina. Too many people and too many gifts. I am toying with the idea of giving LO's "art" as gifts. Who is going to challenge baby art as a gift? They would look like crazy, mean people to be upset about interpretive art. We are also traveling to New York this year, so a ton of my gifts need to be shipped to No CA and the other gifts need to be stuffed into suitcases.

The one thing that I do enjoy about the holidays besides hanging with the family and eating is picking out THE holiday card.  Nothing says LOOK AT MY BABY so blatantly like the annual card.  It is hard to casually work shoving LO's pic in people's faces into a conversation.  But I know that all of the suckers my family and friends have to take that moment to look at LO in all of her glory when they open the mail.  Also, they will feel guilty throwing the card away necessitating them hanging her picture in their house.   I know all of this because I feel guilty throwing away their kid's photo and only break down in February to throw the cards away.  

DH and I discussing holiday cards in November:

Me:  Hey, I just spent 50 hours meticulously cropping, resizing and trying out 5 billion pictures in a few different options for our holiday card.  Which of these three do you like?

DH: Are there other choices? I don't like the size of my ham arm.

Me (calmly): Sure, here is the site if you want to scroll through and make another choice.

DH: I like this black card

Me: That is for a black tie party not the holidays

DH: Why do we have to use our picture?

Me (calmly through clenched teeth): We took torturous family pictures for our HOLIDAY cards.

DH: You can use whatever you want for the Hanukkah cards but I refuse to let you send out that card to MY family and friends.

Me: GREAT, SEND OUT YOUR OWN DAMN CARDS

DH: ok, no need to get upset


DH and I discussing holiday cards the second week in December:
 
DH: My mother said that she didn't receive a card from us.
 
Me: You told me that you were sending out your own cards.
 
DH: I never said that.  Can you please try to remember to send my mother a card.  She has been having a hard time with (fill in the blank)
 
Me: I'm going to stab you while you sleep.
 
So, I saw this promo to get 50 free cards if you discuss family traditions or which Tiny Prints card you will send this year and I decided to jump on board.  I really like their non-gaudy Hanukkah selection and will order this card from them even if they disqualify me for using the words "stab" and "ham arm" in my post.  I really fight the tacky gold dreidels that seem to permeate the small "other holiday" sections at card stores.
 
I cut off the bottom with our names so you won't come to my house and try to wear my skin.   You can sign up for the Tiny Prints promo here, maybe you will do a better job at sharing fuzzy warm holiday traditions.