Thursday, August 25, 2011

Robbery #2

I robbed this from k as I thought I should write it down in case anyone was stalking me.

5:50 am DH's iPhone alarm goes off, I punch him if he doesn't jump out of bed or turn it off after a nano-second

6 am DH's iPhone alarm goes off and I scream an obscenity

6:10 am DH's iPhone alarm goes off and divorce is mentioned, he shuffles out of bed as he knows how good he has it.

7 am My alarm that I bought at Kmart when I was 18 and refuse to part with goes off, I push snooze

7:11 am My alarm goes off again and I try to remember the last time I washed my hair

7:20 am I shuffle into the bathroom to put in contacts and wash my hair. 

7:30 am Nanny arrives

7:35 am LO wakes up or I wake her up to give meds and change a diaper and give a morning hug

7:55 am LO is handed over for breakfast eating and I throw on make-up, blow dry my hair and pick out a suit

8:15 am I go downstairs to eat LO's leftover breakfast and say goodbyes, there is usually clinging and hugging and tears mostly from me
8:27 am I run out the door knowing that I am going to be late

8:40 am I arrive at work and run to my office

8:45 am I check my numerous email accounts and all of my communicato vehicles like FB

9 am I prioritize everything that needs a decision and see who will be in the office and then I begin trying to bother whoever has the next deadline for ads, tombstones, articles, events or general stuff

10 am IM from DH to tell me that he has a trip, dinner, cocktails that evening, next week or two months from now

9 -11:30 am I talk to all of my east coast peeps and get availability for folks for the day

11:30 am I eat my meal delivery lunch 300 calories at my desk while reading financial blogs--mmmm so good

Noon I go get frozen yogurt or pick up LO's prescriptions, drop off dry-cleaning (Weds are 50% off), go to the grocery store, run to the bank, cat stuff or take LO to an appt

1:15 - 5:30/6:30 pm Back at the office for more of the same and some blogging

6-6:45 pm Arrive home and tell the nanny, housekeeper or whoever is in my house to get going tout de suite

6:45 pm I eat dinner and LO has a snack, probably her sixth meal of the day and we talk about the day

6:52 pm I clean up dinner and we play and negotiate bubba bath time.  Sometimes she is not in the mood.

6:58 pm We head upstairs and do a bath or I chase her with a washcloth.  She spends the next 25 minutes dodging me and laughing/screaming at every turn for bathing, teeth brushing, meds, night diaper, lotion and pjs.
7:23 pm The dimmer is at the lowest setting, we discuss which books to read or she gets into bed where a good ten minutes is spent trying out pacis, taking multiple water breaks, picking out which animals will sleep with her and how the five loveys will be arranged.

7:35 pm She lays down for a millisecond and I rub her back and tell her it is bedtime

7:40 pm I leave the room and she spends the next 20 minutes rearranging and paci trying while I clean up whatever toys or bath items need to be put away.

8 - 8:30 pm I change into my pjs and sit down, like really sit down, like with my feet up and take a deep breath and hit the power button for some reality TV

8:30 - 9:30 pm DH arrives home and wants to discuss something before my 10pm no big discussion rule takes effect. 

9:30 - 10 pm He goes upstairs to find the iPad and he is zoned out. 

10 - 10:30 I follow him and wash the face, take out the contacts.  I then read my work/personal emails, respond and turn out the light.  Give DH a good kick if he is snoring and I am asleep.

Wow, just like a movie star.