Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Don't Panic People, We Believe in Rainbows and Sparkles Only

I wrote this earlier today at 2:30pm:

"I'm hankering for a project, a hobby or something.  It is sizzling beneath the surface as I strive to find somewhere to direct the energy.   I have lost the weight, solved the no job situation, threw the party, took the baking class, booked a trip and found a new trainer.  My house is filled with paper goods, diapers and cat litter.  I am busy for the foreseeable future with plans to see friends, birthday parties and other child related stuff but something is gnawing at me."

I cursed myself because I received a phone call at 5:15pm that something was wrong with LO.  The nanny thinks it was a seizure.  I refuse to believe it as I live in a happy place that I like to refer to as denial.  I refuse to believe that something could possibly be wrong with someone that I love so much.  We spent many hours at the emergency room and she seems fine.  Her tests came back normal but we will know more tomorrow, hopefully.   The nurse said we were unusually calm, I wanted to explain the benefits of denial but it seemed pointless.  We made it three hours without turning on the TV but then got desperate, as the crazy person screaming had us all on edge, and let her play with the TV on mute.  She chose the "Family Guy" and the fat dude was naked on the show.  Blargh.