Thursday, July 7, 2011

Words You Never Want to Hear

I love me a corporate, stuffy, male environment.  The offices and equipment are nicer, the rules are straightforward and you usually never have to sing or group hug.  I have found my people in financial services as even the interns have offices.  They have an occasional beer which I can manage to drink and appear slightly with it.  I am somewhat down with current events and I can usually resort to something to discuss with executives as they all have one favorite topic, themselves and their awesomeness.  When this specimen of being asks if you play(ed) any sports, you  mention light sport activity during childhood, keep it brief.  Refer to basketball or soccer and if they ask if you are a dancer/gymnast/whatever girlie thing, just nod. 

Do not mention that you golf or play tennis unless you want to strut your stuff in front of these people at the next charity whatever.  I actually have a set of golf clubs and at one point COULD have maybe played a drunk game of golf.  I mean they would drink heavy and I would pretend to drink and maybe I could fake it.  I have played tennis and even took some lessons but would never get in a skirt and play with ANYONE.  Alright I will get to the point, my boss just mentioned that he needs me to get some "funny" trophies for an office golf tournie in TWO weeks.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Will I be invited to play??? I would have to say yes AND then what would I DO? Two weeks is not enough time to get back into the game and my arm/elbow is still messed up from the fall.  Let's be honest, six months is not enough time. 

Whenever I get into a situation like the above mentioned, I always envision the women over at NOW (National Organization for Women).  For some reason, NOW in my mind is as far from a corporate environment that you can get.  I have never been but I envision women dressed in denim, on old school phones not playing golf.  Do women breastfeed at their desks over there? I always envision some sort of holy grail of all things womanly.  What to do? What to do??