Thursday, July 21, 2011

Rejection

I rearranged my work week so I could take her.  I ate lunch in the morning to rush home to pick her up.  She had a new outfit on and the nanny had combed her hair with a little water.  She was excited as she knew something exciting was about to happen.  I changed out of my suit so the other mommies would possibly like me.  I put on a cute summer outfit and we were out the door.   I had timed everything right so I could be back to work for two more meetings.

We got behind a bad driver who kept slamming on the brakes.  We couldn't find parking and I heard a small whine start from the backseat.  I drove around the block a few more times until the whine became a cry.  I rushed to get her out of the car and she appeared to be choking.  I tried to help her but the vomiting started and she couldn't help it.  We were both covered and she was sad.  I put her back in the car feeling defeated.  I spotted a dirty pilates shirt that I put on and unbuckled her again.  We used some baby wipes and we tried again to go into the new gym class.  I spotted a tie dye shirt for sale that she could wear as a dress and quickly changed her hoping that no one had noticed but it was too late. 

One of the mommies had already seen me changing and had reported the "sick" kid.  I tried to explain about reflux and medication that doesn't always work and they let us stay but no mommies wanted their kids to play with LO.  She enjoyed herself and ran around while no one talked to me.  I felt the first taste of rejection that comes with childhood for her and realized that it will be me that is crying harder over the disappointments than her.