Friday, March 18, 2011

Are You There God, It's Me Wondering about that Lottery Ticket

Since my drastic cry for help earlier this week, not much improved.  DH still worked late and still didn't help with any of the medications.  I medicate Mama cat three times a day with five different medications through her feeding tube and LO three times a day with two different medications.  In between trying to coax LO to chew and swallow solids in time for her birthday, I feel like a damn nurse.  Staying home full time with LO is wonderful as I am around for all the fun stuff like the cuddle and open mouth kiss/sneeze when she wakes up from a nap and the first steps BUT it is so physically exhausting.   I feel like a short order cook, maid and entertainment clown plus the nurse thing.

I am so sad that all of the outside the house jobs have such stiff competition as I feel really qualified and I get a good response from my interviews but there is always someone that is more perfect for the position.  I have to say that every position has come with a big drawback so I am sad to be unemployed but not really that upset about losing out on the jobs.  There are still some "doors open," but I am trying to move forward in a "that job is dead to me," fashion.

Unfortunately, it is expected that I will take on ALL of the house and baby responsibilities which leaves me a little bitter.  I can see how stay at home moms would feel taken advantage of and not appreciated.  Hallelujah to them as going to an office is way easier.  I hate to say that I don't want to be with LO every second but I want her to be proud of me and give her everything like clothes and food.  Also, damn that Janie and Jack store as they are having a friends and family discount this weekend JJFRIEND so I had to indulge in some Spring Green and Tailored Tulip nonsense.  In my defense, she will probably talk soon and then NEVER let me dress her.

I also indulged in a 5 pass Groupon to some weird play gym with a bunch of crappy toys 15 miles away because it was a "deal." We visited earlier this week and I made a promise not to let her go in the ball pit as they are such germ factories but she freaked out until I let her go in.  Here she is savoring in the grossness.

Also a pic of one of the three delicious varied meals that I feed her daily that falls out of her mouth instead of into her stomach.  Yes, that is our laundry behind her as that is how we roll.