Thursday, February 10, 2011

Russian Spy

I think that I may have been a pawn for a larger operation this morning.   A crazy smelly lady came to my house with a jank scale and weighed me for "life insurance" purposes.  I expected a precise sleek scale and she had one that I am pretty sure was obtained at a garage sale in 1978.  She ordered me to drink water in her thick accent for purposes of a urine test and then I heard her doing some weird stuff in the bathroom and then she busted out a tape measure to measure me.  As her wig slipped in front of her thick glasses, I am pretty sure that she read the tape measure wrong as she pronounced me 5'7.5" WTF??? I am and always will be 5'8" bordering on 5'9".  I had to sign a special release saying that I had misrepresented my height.

Then the interesting thing happened that made me realize that all of the blood and urine was a front.  She talked to the Baby Cat for 10 minutes in Russian before demanding to be released from the house as I had "locked her in."  If Armageddon happens in the next few days, we will know that it is all that evil cat's fault.