Friday, November 12, 2010

Under Cover

Update: DH wanted me to edit this post for legal reasons.

Sometimes it is a good plan not to let too many people in on your blog or maybe more people know about it and keep it under wraps.  Either way, I am dealing with some personal shite on this post so I don't want to hear or discuss it outside this blog.  It is not meant to offend anyone but this is my free therapy peeps.  If you are offended then you are reading too much into it.

So here is the situation, we were supposed to spend Thanksgiving with DH's family and we couldn't work it out so he preferred to stay home.  I decided that a quick fun trip would be great as he is leaving for Berlin right after the holiday.   We decided to go to SF as I saw a good deal and we booked it on the fly.  Then my great-aunt died and my dad usually spent the holiday with her so I invited him to join us for dinner.  Thanksgiving is a hard time for us as my brother died the Friday following Thanksgiving in 2001 and it is just a weird holiday.  So I was scared to tell DH that our trip now included my family but I knew that he would understand the situation. 

Then my mom cancelled her trip so I invited her and her husband for dinner.  Then my dad e-mailed me to say that my ex stepmother would be joining us.  That would be the mother of my brothers and the woman responsible for my brother when he died.  It is hard for me to be around her as I want to shake her and poke a fork in her eye and scream profanities and take all my anger out on the lady.  I have avoided seeing her since before my brother died except at a lunch following my brother's graduation.  I have to act civil as that is the mother of my brothers and they love her.  I strongly dislike her as she was a less than stellar mother, step-mother, person and now I will be in her company for the anniversary of my brother's death.  All my dad said was, "She bought a gift for the baby."  My brothers will be at dinner and they want to spend the holiday with both of their parents which I understand. 

Our relaxing 48 hour escape to SF has turned into a stressful situation.  I think that it was a mistake to choose a place so close to my hometown.  DH has been very understanding but I feel that it is an unfair situation to him as this was supposed to be "his" holiday as we are going to my hometown in December.  I am sure that it will turn out to be a lovely dinner as I know my parents are excited to see LO but it is stressing me out.