Thursday, October 14, 2010


I returned from my first overnight business trip last night. The trip was quick and it felt good to be away with the grown-ups for a little bit.  I woke up Tuesday morning packed, went to the office, realized I forgot a hair brush, toothbrush and toothpaste. Pretty standard practice for any trip for me.  As I was driving to the airport from the office, I realized that I had a little extra time to either stop by the house and see the LO quickly or get something to eat.  I stopped and got something to eat and that is when I got sad and felt guilty.  I rationalized in my mind that there wasn't enough time and that we had no food but I was still sad.  I stopped feeling guilty when DH called me at the airport and told me he was going to Berlin/London for 10 days. 

The meetings were intense and I was exhausted but that didn't stop me from sprinting through the airport and cutting in line at security to try and make an earlier flight. I had 20 minutes from curbside to the plane and I acted like a crazy person.  Everyone was very nice at the security line except for one mother and I wanted to explain that I was desperate to get back to my baby but there was no time.  I arrived sweaty and took a middle seat but felt that I was on a mission to get back to my baby.  I raced home and through the door and no one was that impressed to see me.  DH gave me a kiss and said that I was home so early that I could now bathe the LO so he could go out.  Of course, I was happy to see the LO before she went to bed but I wonder if I needed to act like a crazy person or if I should have taken the next flight and took the time to get a new book or magazine and leisurely enjoy an hour with nothing to do?  I can't envision DH running through the Berlin airport to come home an hour early from his 10 day trip.  I don't blame him or think that he should but why do I put such pressure on myself?