Friday, September 24, 2010

Eminem's Closet

I was cleaning out of my closet in the literal sense last night not like Eminem sings about and I started crying, so maybe closer to Eminem than I originally thought.  LO will be six months on Monday--woohoooo! Six months represents a lot of things for me and I have been feeling a little gloomy this week about it.

First the awesomeness of six months:
  1. 90% of SIDS deaths occur in kids under six months.  Sorry if you are reading and your baby is under six mos but yeah for the LO! It is something you think about but don't want to talk about and then the breathing thingy, you get my drift on being happy.
  2. During the first dark hard part. six months seemed as far away as winning the lottery but it is here!
  3. She has been sick twice and the scariness didn't come.  There were no scary hospital stays or steroid treatments. It has made me relax the tiniest bit.
  4. She is growing and has sailed closer to 40-50% rather than 10-15%.  I don't have to freak out when she doesn't eat enough.
  5. She is sitting up and it is so much better for her breathing, digestion, etc.
  6. I finally fit into most of my clothes and I feel like the last part of me is back to "normal." I always feel so much better after I switch seasons in my closet. One year I am going to stop hauling out the short shorts and admit that I only wear Bermudas but until then I go through the exercise.
Scary part of six months:
  1. She has to try food which is scaring me.  I have said no to any testing until she tries food. So this is when the rubber meets the road and we find out what path we are going on.  Princess O's mom has scared me (I know she didn't mean to) and I have been dreading this milestone a bit.
  2. Most of the doctors said that we would not see an improvement in LO's respiratory health until one year and at the most two years which seemed like 10 years when she was six weeks old and miserable.  Now I understand that it is manageable through medication,  cleanliness, diligence about surroundings and people, etc. so it is not so terrible.  But two doctors told me that she might be "healed" by six months.  I knew three weeks ago when she was scoped and they saw no improvement that it wouldn't be six months. But a little part of me didn't admit how crushed I felt.  No improvement??!! A teeny part of me wonders how can it improve in the next six months if it hasn't improved at all in the first six months!!
  3. Shots--it didn't go so well last time.
So anyway it is the weekend, I took my pity pants off and I get to spend two whole days with my pumpkin head!  Monday, we will wake up and race into her room to wish her a happy six month birthday and there will be no sadness involved.